Please Never Date An Indian Girl

I wrote an article responding to Matt Forney’s http://www.returnofkings.com/51395/5-reasons-why-you-should-not-date-indian-girls a couple years back and I’m here to shed a new perspective. My article on Odessey has 1.7K views and I could not be more thankful.

Someone asked me why I got so angry over his article when clearly it was JUST ONE PERSON.

But my anger towards Matt Forney is not due to the fact that he has a platform to express his concerns with females. I’m disappointed in the fact that people, especially Indian Men are encouraging his words:

“Vomit inducing Indian movies never miss a chance to lavish praises and exalt womanhood as if women are arbiters of virtue and success.
What bullsh*t!
Couple this with Indian mob mentality which ardently believes women are always right and voila you have a recipe for generations of insufferable wh***s who think the Sun and Moon revolves around them. White dudes indeed have an edge in pumping and dumping Indian slu*s bcoz Desi girls feel they achieve higher status by spreading their useless pu**y to be ravaged by Caucasian pha***s.”

The fact that this way of thought is supported by others is concerning. Forney lays out how “fit Desi girls are packing more poundage than any girl should be legally allowed to have.” He is acting like there is a law that states that girls should measure their body weight by HIS personal standards?

He calls Indian women prudes for not wanting to have sex with him and even goes as far as to say all of us are mentally ill. Forney insults not only India but also the people living in it, saying that we “fetishize white men to a degree that was downright creepy.”

What is really creepy is the fact that Forney and his supporters call women their “menu options” and make consent an excuse to insult and degrade.

I come from a place where girls occupy two realms. We worship goddesses in Hinduism, in fact daughter in laws are seen as the wealth of the family (Goddess Laxmi).

Goddess Laxmi

We have a Goddess strong enough to fight demons that even gods are incapable of fighting. In fact, the monster thought he could never be killed by a woman. (Goddess Durga)

Goddess Durga

In India, a Rajput queen would rather perform a Jauhar (jumping into a pit of fire to avoid being raped) then have her honor be taken away from her by the man who killed her husband and destroyed her kingdom. There is a lot of debate surrounding Rani Padmavati and what actually happened. But from the story I read, the women sacrificed themselves so they would not be raped then killed by the enemy Alauddin. Rani’s husband had lost the war, so she took away the one thing Alauddin desired, her. And the other women followed her because they would not let someone else take away their humanity. Especially the men who had murdered their husbands, sons and brothers.

Yet, why then do mothers leave their daughters on the streets in India? Why is it a burden to have a daughter?

In fact 244,270 cases of domestic violence in 2012 were reported. Keyword- reported. There are so many cases that go unreported because it is seen as a disgrace in society.

Out of all the rape trials in India, only one out of four leads to a conviction. So what happens to the other three…. The men do something worse to the girls after the trial and the family has to live with “disgrace”. Oftentimes, the girl commits suicide because she feels like she is at fault and she cannot live with the torment society is putting on her.

In India, a rape occurs at least every 20 minutes.

Instead of being ashamed to have a daughter, instead of being scared of having to protect her, teach men to be ashamed of mistreating women.

This is not old news. In America after my mom had me, her mother-in-law said, “I would have given you a diamond necklace if you had only gave birth to a son.” My mom was so hurt. I am worth more than a diamond necklace and I try to prove that in everything I do. Before I could say or do anything, people made an assumption about my worth.

But it is not bad here compared to how it would be if I was in India. I have so much respect for the women there because they have to be as strong as a goddess to protect themselves and their values. While we are seen as divine, we are also seen as a misfortune. So when Matt Forney tries to stereotype Indian women like this, it infuriates me because he has known nothing but privilege. He has not had to prove his worth in the world from the minute he was born.

On birthdays, he was never told by his relatives, “I wish you were a boy.”

He has never had to feel ashamed about his gender.

To Matt Forney and his band of supporters. Forget dating Indian girls. Please do not date ANY girl. Because we deserve respect and dignity and we cannot expect that from you, because clearly you have none of those values for yourself. And to the Indian men agreeing with him, I hope your mother knows what you are saying about her.

I am proud and I will always be proud to be an Indian woman. And instead of Indian woman putting other women down, we should face the challenges together. Because if we do that, there is not a force on earth that can destroy us. Instead of wishing for our daughter in laws to have boys, break that cycle. Instead of teaching your girls to only value marriage, teach them to value themselves. We can have a revolution right now and it all starts with how we treat each other.

CEO of Muskaan, world traveler, fiction writer, American born Punjabi. Insta- tasha_2398